Thanksgiving

Well, I’m heading back to the US for the first time since moving to Germany. I’ll be spending the Thanksgiving holiday with all of my sisters in Atlanta for the second year in a row. This is a new tradition for all of us. 

I know in my introduction post, I alluded to something even worse occurring after all the moving, divorce, etc. I wasn’t sure if it was something I was going to talk about, but now that we’re here, I’ve gotten the courage to share.. In 2022, I unexpectedly lost both of my parents. They passed 10 months apart making for a very traumatic year. While in the hospital for COVID in January, my dad suffered a catastrophic stroke and never regained consciousness. He had been in the ICU unit and the COVID restrictions were still very high. We didn’t get to spend a lot of time with him in the room over the week, but we all had our chance to say goodbye before he moved on. My father was an amazingly kind, funny man that loved people. I loved just sitting in the same room as him, listening to the plethora of stories he had. He was my favorite human beings and I still miss him terribly.

In November, my mother was at the gym and collapsed in the locker room from a brain hemorrhage. She was taken to the hospital where they performed surgery to stop the bleeding and to lessen the swelling. When I arrived at the hospital I was told that only a third of people who had the type of hemorrhage she suffered survive. She also never regained consciousness and ultimately was brain dead. All of her family was able to travel and say goodbye as well before she passed on. Her loss is still a bit surreal at times. We were never had a close relationship, but I loved her and I know she loved me. 

So, 2022 was the first year my sisters and I all gathered for Thanksgiving to be together and further process all of our grief. Although not much is remembered, we are all looking forward to being together again and deepening this new tradition.

I know that I’m not only one to ever experience loss, nor will I be the last. It is the one thing we all have in common. Death touches all of us. As one friend that helped me immensely through this time said, now matter how you’re feeling, it’s right. We all experience grief differently and at different times. I only hope by sharing this that you know you’re not alone. That I acknowledge your pain and hope that you find moments of peace and serenity and carve out time to feel and process the sadness. 

My sisters and I found a way to acknowledge our grief and unify us even more by getting tattoos before we sat down for Thanksgiving dinner. It was a quick decision and to be honest, I don’t really remember much discussion other than “get in the car”. It’s something I truly cherish.

The colored in circle represents our birth order

I know this was a heavier post, but our new yearly tradition was a lot of fun this time. There was so much laughter and love shared.

In the past, since my parents were divorced with new spouses, holidays tended to be stressful for me. Although not ideal, this new normal has now been something I really look forward to. I hope that you all are finding ways to enjoy the long weekend and to create new memories. Happy Turkey Day! 🍗